18 months . . . and counting

Happy Holidays!

Peppermint bark, singing snoopy, tap-dancing snowmen, candy cane mylar balloons that Tylo can wrestle with. These are some of my favorite things this season. My husband and I have gone through at least 3 batches of homemade peppermint bark already this month. I'm just glad I'm not paying $20 a box at Williams-Sonoma for it.

After finally (kinda) cleaning out the unpacked boxes in our two spare bedrooms, we came across an old memory chip that contained never before seen videos and pictures of Tylo from early 2009. AMAZING how much a baby can change. Seeing her all baby-faced and chubby almost makes me yearn for those days where she couldn't yet move around and was perfectly content to just lay there and stare at my face. Now she is all over the place, crawling on me, reaching for whatever I have in my hand, pulling at my hair, asking asking for more more more (one of the six or so words she now knows).

Here's a pic we just found. The accompanying video of her with shirt on head is so adorable I must have watched it 10 times since finding it.

Here is a current list of words that I've determined Tylo can say and truly understands the meaning of:

More

Eat

What's That?

Yes

No

Owl

Tylo still isn't an expert walker yet, and we are concerned (her pediatrician recommends seeing a neurologist at this point), but hopefully she will be running around here in no time.

Happy Holidays everyone!

(our would-be holiday card pic if only Tylo looked)

_

Geez Mom, what happened???

Sigh.

Tylo will one day read this blog (if she cares) and wonder why I stopped posting. "Did I get uninteresting?" she will wonder. "Did you stop caring?"

Of course not, honey. Mommy just got, well busy. You always wanted to play with me. I stopped staying up until 3 in the morning so I wouldn't sleep on the couch at 8 in the morning while you watched your 3rd episode of Wonder Pets. I wanted to be a good mom.

I realize though that I would have liked to know what the first three years of my life were like, because those are the ones we can't remember. I would like to know what my mom's life was like, brand new to the country, dirt poor, watching three kids under the age of 3.

So I vow to keep this going, no matter how sporadiacly, until Tylo is old enough to have her own memories. I have to keep this one short and somewhat bulleted, because I have lots to do.

With that said, let's see what has been going on with us lately.

We are moving! We found a 4 bed/2 bath house to rent in Foster City, and I am sooo excited. Space, space and more space!!! Storage room! A garage! Tylo gets her own room! An open floor plan that allows me to fence Tylo in the living area while I cook/clean/do laundry in the kitchen! A backyard! The park just 4 houses down! (Can you tell how excited I am?)

Packing has been a long slow process because 1) we have a lot of sh*t (and I must call it that because it really is just that - there is no better name for it); 2) Tylo still needs to eat, go out and get fresh air, nap (which means I can't make too much noise). I can't exactly live off of take-out for the next few weeks because I still need to cook healthy, well-balanced meals for her; 3) Tylo doesn't like it when she can't see me in the room so packing with her in it is out of the question because she likes to climb in boxes and being away from her isn't an option either.

Tylo still isn't walking. When she started standing on her own at about 11 months, everyone predicted it would just be a matter of weeks before she was toddling around. Well, at 14 months she refuses to even practice walking. Oh well.

And really exciting - I won a dinner for two at Morton's! How cool is that? Don't you wish you had the time to read blogs and enter contests? This is perfect because HP and I just celebrated the 7 year anniversary of the day we met.

http://www.foodgal.com/2009/08/food-gal-contest-winner-of-the-mortons-steakhouse-dinner-plus-a-new-dinner-prize-up-for-grabs/#more-4926

And here's a pic of Tylo - with just enough hair to throw a clip in.

Whew - wrote this post in under 10 minutes. Back to work!

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Such sweet pillow talk

Tylo is 13 months now, just learned to stand on her own a week ago, and wants to have conversations now more than ever. Used to be that she would just repeat what I said, maybe point and say a few words on her own. Now she likes to babble back to me when I ask her questions. Yesterday she started saying "yah" whenever I ask her a question. What's cuter than a conversation that goes like this?

Me: So what do you want to do today, Tylo? Want to go to the park?

Tylo: YAH

Me: Ok, let's get ready. Can we go change your diaper?

Tylo: YAH

Me: Oh no, you stinky girl. Did you poo-poo? (She really didn't, I'm just randomly asking questions at this point.)

Tylo: YAH

Me: Are you a poo-poo monster?

Tylo: YAH

Me: Forget it, let's just stay home and take nap. Want to take a nap?

Tylo: YAH

Good thing she doesn't know the word no, huh?

We finally had a chance to take Tylo for her first swim recently. I can't think of much cuter than a baby girl in a bathing suit.

She was really scared at first, and did not want to go in.

She loved it in the end because her daddy glided her back and forth through the water.

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Tylo turns one!

I feel a little like I climbed a mountain (I know, how would I know what climbing a mountain feels like?). My daughter turned 1 last week. It flew by fast and all that (the last few months did anyway) but it was hard. And somehow, she's still alive, breathing, and very happy. I managed to get through the first year without forgetting her at the mall, dropping her on the floor, or leaving her in the bathtub. We even learned long ago how to avoid leaky diapers. I practically forgot all the struggles of the early months and conquered the 12 month mark with flying colors. I'm a pro at packing for our day trips, I know exactly what snacks or what drinks at what moments will avoid melt-downs. I know which shopping center has acceptable changing areas and when to just change her in the backseat of the car. My daughter only got a hint of diaper rash once in the entire 12 months, and that ended within a day. She eats almost anything I put in front of her (too much, if you ask me) and sleeps through the night most nights. Yup, I'm a bonafide pro at this point. Which isn't to say by next week I'll once again be the amateur mother of the 12 1/2 month old.

Before I had Tylo I never understood why parents have these obscenely lavish parties for their 1 year olds that are so obviously oblivious to everything going on around them. Usually they're even afraid of all the unfamiliar faces. But I get it now. The first few months are so hard, especially if it is your first, that having your child survive to age one is truly an accomplishment. It means we parents managed to not screw up royally. After we first brought Tylo home from the hospital, HP kept saying over and over how amazing it is that the hospital actually let us take her home (HP and I have no baby experience whatsoever). Um, hello? Did I not carry her for 9 months, barf every day, several times a day for 8 months, and push her out of MY you-know-what? How could they stop us from taking her home? But I got what he was saying. We had no clue what to do with a baby. Luckily, it really wasn't that hard to figure out what needed to be done and when. Doing it without going crazy is a whole other story . . .

So even though we didn't have a huge bash for Tylo's first birthday (just grandparents, siblings, and cousins), I really wanted to make it special for her. I prepped for the entire week.

Thursday was spent making my first decorated sugar cookies ever. I was so disappointed when they got all fat and ambiguous after baking. I mean, do these look like ducks to you?

Luckily it came together after the frosting was put on. It was time-consuming, but surprisingly easy to paint on the frosting. Before you knew it, I had (both skinny and fat) ducks! I found a heart cutter hidden in my cabinets and played with those too.

Friday was set aside for making the cake and cupcakes. It was so important for me to make my daughter's first cake. I wanted to make a cake that Tylo could actually eat too, and I'm not ready to give her chocolate. So we did a doctored yellow cake and I simply bought frosting to make it easier. It really wasn't smart to buy whipped frosting. Easier to spread, sure, but none of the frosting decorations held their shape. Once out of the fridge it was only a matter of time before it started dripping. It took me weeks to come up with a design that I could easily do that was still appealing to a one year old. I wanted to add flowers and such, but the frosting was not cutting it. Not sure she cared how it looked, but she LOVED eating it.

I've never seen the girl eat so seriously.

Leave me alone Mommy, I'm busy here!

Here's a pic of her playing with her older cousins:

And Tylo, refusing to wear her new hat.

The best (and only) family picture we could get. With all the excitement going on, Tylo did not want to stay seated for pictures.





I couldn't have asked for a better birthday for her. She really did enjoy herself. Hopefully next year we can invite little friends for her too!

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Better find a house before the baby comes . . .

So yesterday I was at Bed Bath & Beyond chatting with the lady at the check-out, telling her we were trying to find a house. She says, "oh yeah - you want to find a house before the baby comes".

I said "I already have a baby - she's almost one!".

The lady proceeds to look at my mid-section and changes the subject because she realized she just called me pregnant.

Damn, I knew the babydoll shirt I was wearing would make me look pregnant, but I didn't have much else clean that didn't need ironing.

You would think that would scare me into getting my butt in shape, but nope, not really.

I deserve it. Almost one year later and I am the same weight I was two weeks after giving birth. Lost five, gained it all back. Sigh.

Once I was in the kitchen with four of HP's friends' wives and I said, "Oh, I'm the only one here not pregnant!"

One of the girls said, "I'm not pregnant."

Duh - I just passed her one-month old baby in the hallway. But she did look 6 months pregnant, to be perfectly honest. But that's also totally allowed. What's not allowed is looking 6 months pregnant one year later.

At least the lady thought I was pregnant and not just fat!

_

Summer also means Kettle Corn

Seems a bit silly to write about kettle corn, I admit. But I love love love kettle corn so much that I think it does deserve to be written about. Especially since I just found out that I can have THE BEST kettle corn any time that I want.




Used to be that I had to wait until the county fair came around during the summer, or sometimes if I got lucky, I might go to a ball game that was selling some. I know they sell it at the farmer's markets, but I sheepishly admit that I never get out of the house in time to make it there.



Then suddenly, kettle corn was all over the supermarket shelves. I was very skeptical. How on earth could they keep the buttery, sweet goodness crisp if it's not freshly popped? I've had pre-popped pop corn in packages before, and they always disappointed. Not to mention they are usually over-priced.



One day at Whole Foods, I caved at the display and decided to try a bag. The brand was called Popcorn, Indiana, and was on sale for $3 from $4 so I thought, what the heck? Turns out I was wrong about the sale and the bag rung up for $4 at check out. This better be some good stuff, I thought.



And it was. It was soooo good - better than any kettle corn I've ever tasted. Each and every kernel was crispy with the sweet/salty coating, something you don't get from the fresh popped stuff (as if they were skimpy with it or something), in which I usually have to pick out the browner and shiny kernels since those are usually the crispy ones.



Since then I've also tried the Trader Joe's Brand. It's half the price at $2 a bag, and pretty good too. The kernels are crispy but they don't have the same coating the Popcorn, Indiana bag does. I've also finally made it to the farmer's market and bought some of the fresh popped stuff (Gold Rush) at $5 for an enormous bag. What a disappointment. And it was terrible compared to Popcorn, Indiana. Many of the kernels were stale, and I had to fish for the good pieces. And who needs that much popcorn anyway?



I no longer need to wait for special occasions, and I went out and bought another bag right away of Popcorn, Indiana. So if you love kettle corn as much as I do, buy Popcorn, Indiana. Don't eat directly from the bag and wrap up air-tight each time and it will be just as good in two weeks. And trust me, it took a lot of will power to keep the bag around for that long.

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You know it's summer when you see the goats

They're here! At the beginning of every summer they bring out the goats here in the hills. I'm talking like 100+ goats, to eat down the shrubs and grass in the hills to prevent fires. It's a pretty neat thing to be exiting the freeway and seeing them right there along the street, chomping away. The next day they're on the otherside of the street, or in the hills by the parking lot, or wherever. I look forward to seeing them every year - it means the warm weather is here! One year someone actually tried to shoot at them and killed one or more. Isn't that awful? They're just innocent little goats. Poor things, probably get packed in a truck like sardines every night before they're schlepped off to another patch of overgrown weeds.

Summer also means I get to dress my baby in cute skimpy little baby clothes. And she finally looks less like a boy! Not that people still don't mistake her for one. The other day at dinner this older lady calls Tylo "cute little fella". She was wearing pastel yellow. And then after I repeated the name 3 times she started calling her Taylor.

And, summer means shorts and endless slathering of stinky self-tanner on the whitest legs you will ever see. I told HP I needed to go buy shorts and he reminded me that when we first started dating I never wore shorts. Or sneakers for that matter. I was all about the skirts and sandals, or flip flops. Well, I can't exactly tumble around the park with my baby in a skirt and flip flops are too risky when carrying a squirmy 11 month old. Plus I have this fear that someone will try to steal my baby and I won't be able to run after them in flip flops. So, here I am, in shorts and sneakers. Yet I still have a full face of makeup on, even for a trip to the supermarket. Some things never change I guess. I have stopped wearing lipstick, so I can pepper Tylo with kisses all day long.

Tylo and I had the best day today, and I manage to capture a few smiles. She was even in bed by 8. Incredible!

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Happy First Mother's Day to you, Tylo

I got this mass email today, giving activity ideas for Mother's Day. It said to write a letter to your baby, explaining what it's like to be a mother. What a great idea! This blog is for her, and someday I would love for her to read it, but to be honest, I don't trust the internet. I feel it's not tangible enough and can easily be wiped away in one fell swoop. I am all about greeting cards, so I dug one out and began writing . . . and writing . . . and writing. Before I knew it, I had a card and a full page of very messy handwriting. So what the hell, I'm going to type it up anyway, just so I can have two ways to keep this precious letter intact. It's my Happy 1st Mother's Day note to Tylo:

Dearest Tylo,

This is my first Mother's Day, and I wanted to write you a note that one day you will read on your first Mother's Day. I hope when that day comes your baby will bring you all the joy and wonder that you have brought to me.

Each smile, each snuggle, each shriek - I cannot go a few minutes without smiling at the thought of the cute thing you did earlier in the day.

Today, you played with your gumball machine. Each time a ball rolled out, you would turn to Daddy and me, waiting for us to clap and cheer. Then you would clap and yell so loud, and grin the biggest grin. We finally got it on video! You're also crawling really fast, and you love to climb over Daddy on the floor. Today you must have pulled my glasses off about 20 times, getting them dirty with your tiny fingerprints. . Then you'd try to put them back on my face, but you can't quite get that part right yet. Oh well, at least you tried!

I was so proud when you ate a big pasta dinner, peas and chicken and all! You kept insisting that you hold the fork yourself, but if I didn't guide it toward your mouth, the food would fall off when you twisted it. Then you would complain when I tried to take the fork back to get another bite!

My favorite part of the day is hearing you wake up. I open my eyes, and there you are, standing in your crib, watching me, very excited that your mommy is now awake. I wave and say "Hi!" and you wave back and say "Ahhh!"

You know so many words now, and oddly enough, you stopped saying the words you used to know, like blow, wow, and dada. These days you say mom (a lot), bear, hi (ahhh), and baby. You give a lot of love taps. Daddy and I have learned to tap each other to say I love you too.

Each day, each week, is so different with you and I hope I've given you a glimpse of what my first mother's day was like.

Watching you grow is amazing - there is nothing worth more in the world.

Happy 1st Mother's Day to you.

Love,
Mom

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Snuggle Bear

Tylo is 10 1/2 months old! Just weeks away from the big 1 year old. It's so amazing how fast it went by. The first 6 months felt painfully slow, actually. I mean, nothing really happened. I would spend all day talking and making faces at her, and she would smile here and there, but really - it wasn't much. Then, POOF. It's like she started understanding everything, rolling all over, then crawling on her own, shouting out orders, mimicking several words, laughing at my silliness. Now it all seems to be happening so fast.

Since I last wrote about it, Tylo is still snuggling. For a few weeks now she and I play the "Where's Bear?" game. After she wakes up, I ask her "where's bear?" and she looks around her crib, finds it, and hands it to me to kiss hello. Then she takes it back and hugs it with a big smile, sometimes kisses it herself. Yesterday when I asked her "where's bear?" she went and snuggled with it. It was so darn cute! I caught it on video and got a sliver of it on camera too:

I love watching her learn to do new things and knowing I was the one that taught her. We proudly show Daddy all her new tricks when he gets home, or all the cute moments I managed to capture on camera that day. After all, he only gets to see her for a couple of hours a day. I would never manage to get by on so little of Tylo.

You know what the best part about being a mom to a 10 month old is? It's that she loves me so unconditionally. This little pint-sized girl thinks I'm the funniest, funnest, best mom in the world. You should see the way she laughs at me sometimes. And even when I leave her crying out and shrieking for me at night because I left her alone in her crib in the dark, she forgets about it the next day after a good night sleep and a morning bottle, and gives me the biggest 6-tooth grin there is.

We're not all made to be mothers. But if you are, and you choose to take the plunge, it's moments like those that make it so worth the pregnancy pain.

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Is it that hard to get a good steak?

Wednesday was HP's birthday! We knew we totally deserved some extravagant high-end dinner, despite these economic times, but weren't sure what to do with our precious alone (no baby) time. Michael Minna and Chez Panisse were booked solid. So we saw Alexander's Steakhouse on Check Please, Bay Area and thought everything looked yummy, and interesting. It was like 75 miles of a drive each way, dropping off Tylo at the In-laws and all, but it would be worth it.

Well, I might as well have flushed our $250 down the drain. It was the most expensive meal we had out together, nearly $400 if you include the wine. Somehow we convinced ourselves that we were deserving, tired, overworked parents we are. Alright, it was not that bad. But it was truly a disappointment. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate the steaks we had a 1 and a 2. My dried out, mushy, sad looking filet a 1, and his juicy and BBQ sauce-slathered 2 lb rib-eye a 2. I've had better steaks from Safeway. Much better. And those are usually like $8 each.

Outside of the steaks, the appetizers and desserts were just okay. HP said the best thing of the night were the truffled french fries. I thought they were good, but not $12 good. They did give complimentary homemade cotton candy at the end, which I was pretty happy about. I love me some cotton candy.


At least we got to have 6 hours to get dressed up and spend with each other, not watching over the baby's next meal, changing, nap, etc. So that was well worth it. But next time I'm craving a good steak, I think I'll just make it at home. I do not recommend Alexander's Steakhouse, even if you need a good date night. Go to Morton's or Ruth's Chris instead.

Here is HP's glistening Rib-Eye, which he ate about a quarter of. If it were any good, we probably could have polished it off between the two of us.

And here is my dried out excuse of a filet. See how it doesn't glisten, like, at all? No juices ever came out of that thing.
I think it was the worst steak I've ever had.





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Enough to make you melt

Tylo was never was much of a cuddler. When she was real small, she never let me cradle her unless she was eating, and me, lazy mom that I am, didn't mind because cradling your baby is pretty tough on the biceps and forceps. (Hence my still-very flabby arms.) Even now that she's bigger she always wants me to pick her up, but once there she's turning and twisting every which way, trying to see what's exciting out there. It's like I'm just a way for her to get off the ground, bed, whatever, so she can get a better view.

Imagine my delight when a few days ago she actually decided to lean her head down against my chest, cheek pressed against me, and stayed there! Well, she actually stayed there for two seconds, sat up again to look at me and give the most adorable grin, then leaned into me again.

I tell you, my heart just melted into a big puddle of goo. In the middle of the night when separation anxiety reared it's ugly obnoxious head again, I cuddled her against my chest and she fell asleep right away. Since then she's happy to snuggle with me before bed time, when she's done wreaking havoc around the living room.

I think most moms probably get this warm fuzzy feeling right away with their babies. I didn't breast feed so maybe that has something to do with the non-cuddling. At least I know she's not just after food next time she snuggles against me.

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Did you say "blow"????

Tylo has been babbling nonstop lately, peppered with a lot of ear-piercing screams out of nowhere. So darn cute. So I've tried to take advantage by labeling everything, seeing what she can pick up. She always stares at me and listens very intently while I teach her things like momma, dada, kitty, bear, lamb, book, drink, light, and on and on. I also label actions like eat, change diaper, up (as in pick up), and her favorite: blow.

A couple of days ago I heard her repeat a new sound over and over and over. Different from her usual bababa, dadada, eheheh. "Bow . . . bow . . . bow". I thought, "oh that's cute, a new sound". Then it hit me as I was blowing a puff of air in her face to get her to smile. She was saying "blow"! Funny that of all the things I've been teaching her, she picks up that one.

Since then she's been saying "blow" to herself all day long. Sometimes she deviates and it sounds more like b-OW, instead of b-oh, but she gets it right once she hears me say it (minus the "l" sound). I try to get her to make the connection and use it when I actually blow in her face, but she only says it when she's playing by herself.

So if she doesn't understand the meaning, does it count as her first word?

Today I think she repeated "bye-bye" after me, but who can be sure.

How do parents decide what their child's first word is?

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Polaroids

I loved those things. I remember digging out my parent's old camera and buying some film for it in my late high school years. It was so expensive! There's something very special and fun about watching the picture come out, sound effects and all, then waiting forever for that poopy-brown picture to come to life. I found this cool app online that lets you make a pseudo version:

Yup, that's Tylo standing on her own, holding on to me for dear life. Don't worry honey, I won't let go. =)

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And while we're on the topic of food . . .

I love Girl Scout Cookies! Love love love them. I always get sad on the years that I miss out on the cookie season. Somehow the year passes and I think, I didn't get any Girl Scout cookies this year. That is, before I shopped at Whole Foods. Those Girl Scouts sure know what type of people have extra cookie money to spend. Though it seems a bit odd that people that eat Whole Foods food would indulge in Girl Scout cookies.

Samoas are my favorite but I don't discriminate. Shove a catalog in front of me, especially before lunch, and they all sound really good. That's how I got tricked year after year to buy over ten boxes from a coworker's daughter. I think the most I bought one year was 13 boxes. I swear I give some away! But mostly, they sit in my freezer waiting for the cravings to hit. Frozen Thin Mints deserve a freezer shelf all to themselves. But that job was years ago and the job after that had no workers with kids in the Scouts.

Anyway, over the weekend my husband ran into Whole Foods while I sat with sleeping Tylo in the car. I had just finished a huge frozen yogurt so when HP brings me back one box of Samoas, I said "Great", but I was so stuffed I didn't even open the box. Fast forward one day, and I'm like "Why the hell did you only get one box?"

Now that I see I only have four left in the box, I think I might have to run back to Whole Foods tomorrow to stock up on the cookies before the season is over. Better go make some room in my freezer.

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Mmmmm . . . Meat

If you know my husband and I, you know we are meat lovers. I think early on in our dating, we knew we were perfect for one another because of our affinity for it. Heck, our first date was at Broadway Prime, and I proudly profess that I finished my entire largest cut, without any shame. He did beat me by requesting the complimentary second slice. He tells me later that he wanted so badly to pick up MY bone and gnaw on it, since it was his favorite part, but decided against it. After all, it was our first date. Since then we've shared numerous steakhouse meals together, and most of our pictures are of us with big glistening charred pieces of meat in front of us. I think most fine dining meals are a waste of money, but $50 for a porterhouse a la carte? Usually well worth it.

Anyway, year after year I rack my brain trying to figure out what to get dear hubby for his birthday. I always think I am getting something HP will love, then he hides it away and forgets all about it, so I know I did a poor job with my selection (I was sure he would watch the Guns N Roses Greatest Hits DVD over and over). This year, I have a gift idea that I'm super excited about. Probably because I'll get to share in the gift too.

Thanks to Carolyn at Foodgal (great website for foodies - check it out), I have the perfect gift. A steak tasters pack. Like wine tasting, but with different varieties of the same cut of steak. Not at all cheap. We're talking over $100 for 4 steaks. That come frozen. Yes, I'm scared it will be a bust. I might be better off buying at Whole Foods (yum yum, see my earlier post) but it sure sounds like fun to cook a bunch of steaks at once and see if we can taste the difference. All I know is that when I'm cooking these babies you can bet I will not even glance the other way for fear of overcooking and turning a hundred bucks into sandwiches or something.

If you are interested, and you love meat as much as we do, check out the company here: www.oliverranch.com. But you might want to wait until I post comments after we try them. HP's bday is next month, so stay tuned. (It would be just my luck if he starts reading my blog now and the bday surprise is ruined!)

By the way, HP has just been diagnosed with "fatty liver". Yeah, as in foie gras. He started having recurring tummy aches and has been told to cut out the saturated fats and wine. So I guess now he will actually have the cut the pieces of fat from his steak.

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Geez - Where have I been?

Out and about! The weather has been great and we've been all over town. Well, within 15 miles of home, but everywhere that is baby friendly within those 15 miles.

And, thanks to the time change, Tylo has been sleeping late again, so no time for blogging. The little bugger is moving around all over the place, so I can no longer leave her for twenty minutes at a time sitting happily with her toys. She goes from crawl position to sit and vice versa easily now. But she still can't really crawl. I think she can, I've seen her do it. She's a freakin lazy baby I tell ya. But she can get away with it because she's so darn cute these days. What? You just killed the cat? Mommy forgives you because you looked so cute doing it!

The great thing is that she's learned some new tricks. She knows how to "Kiss kiss Bear" or "Nose kiss Mommy", and will unhappily hand off whatever is in her hand when I say "Give it to Mommy". She knows "Up" means she can lift her hands in the air and I will pick her up. But she only does these tricks when she wants to, and of course never in front of other people, so I'm pretty much a liar. When other people are around she sits quietly and stares. Sometimes cries from fear, and clings to me for dear life.

I'm trying so hard to get her to walk and hopefully when the weather gets good and warm we can take our first trip to the zoo. She loves Kitty so much I know she'll love the animals at the petting zoo. I just haven't decided if I'll let her touch them yet.

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That deserves a round of applause . . .

Seems like it's been raining forever. I've been cooped up inside the house for the last two days because it has been storming, sideways rain, lightning, thunder and all.

Tylo hasn't minded that much, but I'm sure by tomorrow (another stormy day) she will start getting cranky. When we're home this much, it takes all my energy to entertain her. My brain is pretty fried, and I think my voice is stuck in this high-pitched sing song tone from doing it so much. Luckily we have a CPR class scheduled, rain or shine.

The really great thing these days about taking Tylo out is that I get to pack really light. She no longer spits up, so no change of clothes needed, no burp cloths. She's too big for the bjorn, and I don't use a carrier. Her eating is very predictable, and she still drools like a leaky faucet, so I got one or two bottles and a bunch of bibs in my shoulder bag and I'm set. All my diaper changing stuff, blankets, strollers, etc. are in my car. It's been SOOO easy that I love taking her out. Except that there's really no where to go. Especially when we're trying not to spend money. You can usually find me at a Starbucks. We go to many different ones for a change of scenery.

So I've been trying to use my time wisely, and have her practice crawling, standing, signing, waving. All my hard work finally paid off when she started clapping. And once she started, it was like she couldn't stop those little hands from coming together:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dBf4eF0Kkg&feature=channel_page

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Time to eat? Clap, clap, clap.

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It's bathtime? Clap, clap, clap.

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Daddy's home! Clap, clap, clap.

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Oh look, there's Kitty! Clap, clap, clap.

.

And we also found some long lost pictures from our my phone that I thought I'd post. Her age was still being counted in weeks at that point:.

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Newborns always get food coma. Here she is, asleep, AGAIN, after a bottle.

Here she is, too exhausted for tummy time. (She has never fallen asleep in action since.)

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At the risk of sounding cliche, they sure do grow up fast . . .

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It was like a car commercial . . .

Tylo and I had a great but super long day at the mall (that's what SAHMs do on cold days, we go to the mall - I swear there were so many of us there today). HP met up with us after work, we had a Burger King dinner while she napped in the car, did a little shopping, then went home. I decided to let him drive our new car home with Tylo inside since he never gets to drive it and I took his car (which is actually the car that I bought, but seriously, who keeps track when you're married?).

Anyhoo, as I saw my speedometer go up to 80, as I accelerated and zipped through different lanes, around the slow-ass big rigs, I realized how long it's been since I've driven without Tylo in the car. It felt so good to drive like a normal person. I wasn't staying 1/2 a mile back from the car in front of me, stepping on the brakes as soon as anyone within sight showed brake lights, signaling for 30 seconds before making a move to the next lane. Heck, I even turned the music on, because I wasn't singing "How will I know" (from Disney's Enchanted) at the top of my lungs because these days it's the only thing that will keep my baby from getting cranky.

I miss driving alone, with no traffic. I used to make these long drives from OC to San Francisco when I lived down there with nothing but every Mariah Carey CD I owned and a can of whipped cream to keep me occupied (alright, there were also a lot of cigarettes and enough snacks to fill a concession stand at the movies). The cruise control did most of the work and I was able to let my mind wander because it is the straightest road you'll ever drive. It was pure meditation for me.

Don't take it for granted. Enjoy your car, and your peaceful drives. By the way, when we got home HP reported that Tylo cried the whole way home. She was still crying when he parked. Gee, I'm sorry I missed that.

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Doomed to hold hands all night long

Today I was watching an episode of Supernanny (yeah yeah, you'll watch it too when you become a parent, just you wait and see) and I saw myself, in 3 years. This couple coddles their two kids, let them have their way all the time, get no sleep. Bedtime is a nightmare, and their 3 year old doesn't fall asleep unless Dad is there on the floor next to him, holding his hand until he falls asleep. Sometimes it's 10 minutes, sometimes it's a few hours.

THAT IS SO ME.

Tylo always reaches out for me and squeezes my fingers, strokes my hand or arm while falling sleep. I know she's dead tired, her eyes are shut, but her little hands just want to keep squeezing, squeezing. I am arched over her crib, back is killing me, both hands available for her to do her squeezing. If I'm lucky it's 5 minutes. But sometimes it's 30 minutes. Sometimes I have to cough or my nose is running or my hair is in my face and I move my hands and she wakes up and we start all over again. How did we get to this????

I ask HP and he says his hands never get squeezed.

I can just imagine in a few years I'll be the one laying on the floor at 2 in the morning, holding hands with my daughter until she finally falls sleep.

My little Tylo is queen bee. And I am a complete pushover of a mom.

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Too cute!

Mommy, stop telling me how cute I look and put some clothes on me already. It's cold in here!

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There really ought to be a manual for situations like this.

Today, with naked baby in tow, I was on my way from the changing table to the bath tub. Don't ask me why, but the two places are in opposite ends of our condo. I stopped off in the kitchen to stick my chicken in the oven when I start hearing what sounds like rain drops on the kitchen floor. Oh Tylo - you've been spitting up all day. I look at her mouth, and it's dry. Heavier rain drops.

I realize she's peeing. All over me, all over the kitchen floor. I had to wait until she was done, but what do I do after that? I decided to make the rest of the way to the bathroom trying my best not drip more pee all over the place. I dunk her in the bathtub and try to figure out what I'm supposed to do, drenched in pee. I can't go clean myself off and leave her in the bathtub unsupervised. So I take off all my clothes, because every piece is dripping in pee at this point, wipe my skin off as best I can and proceed to bathe my daughter almost completely naked.

At least I wasn't standing on carpet.

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If you'd only just pick up your dirty socks . . .

Do you think there are any perfect couples out there? The ones that are truly in love, complement one another in their ways, that don't ever fight?

Not to make anyone vomit or anything, but I think HP and I are pretty darn close. We say it all the time too. We're so lucky because we're so happy and totally in love and don't fight and don't get sick or bored of one another. When we went on our first long vacation with each other, I think we amazed ourselves by enjoying every moment of the 24 hours a day we spent together. It was probably so great because the stress and cleaning at home wasn't there.

Not sure how true that is, because we do fight. It's always over something lame, like cleaning (his lack of it, and my bossiness about insisting that he do it), or me being a bad listener, (apparently I'm the person that 'waits to talk', not listen) but it feels bad nonetheless. With the responsibility that is Tylo, it feels like the fighting is happening more often. We always make up, but it's always the same thing.

I have come to realize that people don't really change. You make up at the end of each fight and apologize, but then the same problems happen again. The issues that were there from the first time you moved in together are still there 5 years later, and will remain there 10 and 20 and 30 years later. Does there come a time where you will no longer care and those things that bother you will stop bothering you?

I certainly hope so. But I bet all long-term couples go through the same gripes. Luckily, you have the other 99.9% of your relationship that is all hunky-dory to think of.

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How did we go so wrong?

I think I am quite possibly the worst mother on earth. Alright, I'm exagerating, but not when it comes to getting my baby to go to bed at night. Maybe I'm just too fun of a mom, because Tylo refuses to go to bed at night. She only wants to play play play. She's not hungry, wet, is no longer sick. But refuses to go to bed at night. Even HP is snoring away before Tylo is ready, usually at 12:30 am.

I can't blame it on her bad cold, because it was pretty much like this before. Except she wouldn't be such a cry baby about it. She would be content playing by herself in the crib until she exhausts herself. Now she starts wailing if I even dim the lights and go near the bedroom area. And she must play with me or HP.

We tried to let her cry it out, but decided over and over again that we're wimpy parents and cannot subject our daughter to such misery. I definitely have no excuse. I don't work, so why shouldn't I conform to her schedule, rather than the other way around? Still, I wish it was like the old days when she would sleep at 6 pm, wake up once at 9 am to eat, then go right back to bed.

At this point, Tylo's sleep schedule is like this:
12:30 am - 7:30 am (or so), night sleep with 3-5 awakenings but is quickly soothed
9:00 am - 10:00 am 1 hr nap
1:00 pm 1 hr nap
4:00 pm 1 hr nap
8:00 pm 1 hr nap

I'm not sure if 11 hrs is enough for a little girl but all would be so great if she only went to bed at 10 pm. Then I could actually have time to shower, get ready for bed, etc. without staying up until 3 in the morning. Sigh.

On another note, I just realized that I spend most of my day walking around with my eyebrows lowered into a frown and it's giving me a major forehead wrinkle. I'd better learn to relax them more. I bet most people do that too, without even realizing it. We'd better do all we can to stop those pre-mature wrinkles!

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Do SAHMs get sick days?

I really should be in bed, but my excuse is that I'm waiting for the NyQuil to kick in. Thank goodness Tylo is finally getting better. Tonight she was all smiles, there was no snot running down her nose (well, a little), there was only a little mucus rattle when she breathes and she drank a full bottle without a breathing treatment. I am hoping she will wake up tomorrow all better, and have a great doctor's follow-up visit. No more breathing machine necessary, because she starts screaming as soon as I switch it on.

Meanwhile, I've taken a turn for the worst. My head feels like someone opened it up and poured lead in it, my eyes are all puffy and won't stop tearing, and I can't even cough as loud as I want to because I'm afraid of waking Tylo. I'm reminded of being sick and stifling a cough in a quiet lecture hall during college. You go all bug eyed from holding it in, right? Sucks. I can't taste a thing. And HP actually said dinner was good tonight (Chicken & Biscuits). Next time, I'm definitely going to keep Tylo's slimey germs off me.

"No honey, I know you're sick and miserable, but please don't touch mommy's face with your spit dripping hands."

I'd like to call in sick please. Let the rest of the home team fill in for me while I go crawl into bed and spend endless hours channel surfing. That would mean kitty would take the heat I guess. Better not get HP sick, or we'd really be screwed.

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The Rain before the Rainbow

The mild cold has turned into a full blown terrible bad bad cold. And I think I'm starting to come down with it, because of course Tylo doesn't know how to not cough and give big wet sneezes right in my face and that it's rude to take her wet slobbery hands and play with my lips.

Last night was the worst of it. Tylo cried so hard and so long that HP and I were THIS close to taking her to the ER at 1 in the morning. There was just no logical reason to why she wouldn't stop wailing. God, I'd be one of those moms that calls the doctor in the middle of the night because her baby is crying. Her little body just kept shaking and shaking. I thought HP and I were both going to have a meltdown. Luckily, I remembered how much she loves reading and after 7 different versions of "Jingle Bell Christmas", she stopped crying and we were able to get her to bed.

Poor baby is so unhappy. She barely cracks a smile and is constantly whining and rubbing her raw red nose. She is barely eating and nap time is a big fight. I really hope she gets better but every day it seems she's getting worse.

I miss her happy smile so much, so I thought I'd post some pics from better days.

Sitting on her own now.

Finally got a pic of her little teeth.

And my favorite, cookie time (it is worth the mess!).


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How's your Friday Night?

It's been a rough tough day. Tylo got her first real cold because at 7 1/2 months, I've finally been exposing her to the outside world of germs. And she pretty much got sick right away.

First there was that gymboree class, sitting on the floor and touching community toys and all that. Then we went to Chinese New Year's Eve Dinner at my folks' house and I didn't force all the eager relatives to wash their hands before touching her or touching her toys. So, the poor baby is sick. Cranky, sniffly, snot oozing from her nose, coughing so hard she gets tears and starts to cry, and not eating or sleeping well at all. To top it all off, she throws up her entire dinner on me because she's furious that I tried to wipe her nose so it doesn't get crusted over and obstructs her breathing. Good thing I only fed her applesauce. See that happy baby in the pic to the right? That's not my little Tylo today.

I just hope today was the worst of it and she's all better soon. And that getting this cold will build up her immunity to ickier germs later on.

I'm leaving her with HP tomorrow so I can get a much needed haircut. I guess I should go wash the puke out of my hair before I go to bed.

It doesn't get much more glamourous than this, does it?

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"I do IT"

Hmmm, looking at the title of this post, you would totally get the wrong idea. I mean I-T, as in information technology.

Anyway, when I was working I would say about 20% of my job was IT. I managed our company's servers, network and all account/software users, internet setup, all equipment and software purchases, and offered pretty much all desktop support. Weird huh? If you knew me in my former life, you'd say, "you? IT? The person who can't even figure out how to send a text message?" Even my husband (who really does IT for a living) laughed at me. They put pretty much all of the company's IT related issues into my hands because, well, there was no one else. It was a heck of a lot of power I tell you.
But I wasn't half bad, and I have an inner geek after all. I started spitting out phrases like "you have to make sure you deselect 'use the default gateway' when connecting to the network through VPN otherwise you are unable to access outside internet" and "I have to reboot the sonic wall because we've exceeded our number of allowed IP addresses".

Well my point of all this is, HP decided to join Facebook last night. I have been avoiding it for quite some time because it was all a little intimidating and because I totally do not know what's cool out there in the world of internet, despite being called the IT department of our company. But I hear it's a great way to keep in touch, especially if you have a 7 and 1/2 month old that demands all your attention. So, I joined too! If you know my full name, look for me! As of now, I have no friends =(

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Take it Easy People - He ain't God

Been catching up on my favorite blogs tonight, since I've had some time and HP was helping with the chores. Of course with this week's inaugauration, Obama was the hot topic of the moment. To be honest, all the talk of hope for the "Obama years" scares me a bit. It's naive, to say the least.

I was once super political and quite a lefty. I remember how excited I was to vote in my first presidential election and how defeated I felt when time after time the candidate I voted for lost. When Bush became president I was so upset I pretty much stopped watching the news all together. I could not stand the sight of him with that smirk he would give when bullsh*t came out of his mouth. I was rooting for Hilary, and I didn't mind McCain, and I do think Obama was the better candidate. So this time around I wasn't really cheering for anyone, just glad it was election time and Bush couldn't possibly be reelected. I am really so pleased that the people of this nation finally voted someone of color into the office (this is literally the first time I can say I'm proud to be an American) but is Obama really that great???

He's a smart guy and all that, and he has an effective rhythm and pause way of speaking that makes him seem all-knowing and important, but what's with all the hype on him anyway? Are we really so glad to see Bush out of office that we'll glorify anyone else? Obama just became a Senator and then started campaigning. What exactly is his track record? How effective is he at making policy and leading a nation, or leading any government body?

I'm sure he'll do fine as president, but I don't believe that any leader can take all the credit or the blame that comes from the actions of their people. We'll survive this economic crisis and the US will thrive, but will Obama deserve the credit when that day comes?

Please don't get mad at me. I am glad he's president. I think the occasion of a non-Caucasian being elected president is more significant to me than Obama the person. Just wanted to share my thoughts.

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"Scary Cat"

At 7 and 1/2 months old, Tylo is now a "scary cat". Let me explain . . .

Kitty, like all cats, is quite jumpy. Sometimes the tiniest noise will make her jump and go running, or fall off the couch. Sometimes she barely arches an eyebrow. Whenever she does this, HP goes, "Kitty is such a scary cat".

"Scare-DY cat", I say. "Kitty is a scare-dy cat, not a scary cat."

Now Tylo is like that. She's intensely afraid and cautious of strangers. She stares and watches their every move. And if the stranger smiles or gives eye contact, Tylo almost immediately goes into a loud mommy-save-me-now type wail.

I've always wanted one of those babies that is super friendly and will go up to anyone. I know that's not the safest, but aren't those babies so darn cute?

I took Tylo to her first baby class yesterday, where they basically just play music and sing songs as we bounce our babies in our laps and clap our hands. Tylo had this look of fear the entire time, with her little lip quivering. A few times when the decibel level went up, the tears started flowing. Poor thing. At least she wasn't the only one. And at least she wasn't the first one to cry =).

This baby class and more future play dates are a way for me to expose her to more strangers and more germs at the same time. See? Look at us, sitting on the floor!

(By the way, I fully admit to stretching out my pics lengthwise to make me look thinner, so don't worry if my baby looks thin too - she's really quite chubby!)

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TMI! TMI!

Hi Doctor,

My daughter may be constipated. For over a week now she's been having these small bowel movements every time she eats. I see her going but when I check there is barely any poop, just a small dry hard nub stuck between her butt cheeks. Then I gave her some prunes and she had a real nasty blow out - it was all watery and a big mess. Now she's back to the same tiny nubs again.

That was me on the phone with the doctor earlier. It didn't sound odd coming out of my mouth at the time, but I think about it now and find it hilarious that we can be that explicit when explaining our children's bowel habits, but we wouldn't be caught dead speaking of ourselves like that. I mean, who hasn't been in the same situation at one time or another? But you would never give that much detail out loud, not even to your doctor.

Poor Tylo - I gave her prunes again. Doesn't seem to be helping today.

If you're having a bad day, here are some funny faces to cheer you up:




(please ignore my seemingly nakedness - I swear I had a towel on)

And if you have a couple of minutes - see my little munchkin in action . . . and sitting on her own too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWaAPs3chmE

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Isn't it 2009?

So HP and I have been searching for a new car to replace our 12 year old 4Runner. That car is still in good shape, but well, sometimes it just doesn't start. I've never been stranded or anything, it just takes some finesse with the gas pedal. And one of the back seat belts is broken. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but maybe we were looking for a good reason to get a new car and with the economy the way it is, it's a buyer's market.

Luckily, I'm not a new car virgin. I'm happy to say I did almost all the research and negotiation of purchasing our last car, an Avalon, all by myself. Alright, so I bought the same exact car I already had before. But I did pay for it with my own hard earned money. This time around it's a bit of a tug of war because even though I'll be the main driver, HP has his heart set on something a little more luxurious. He wants status. I want a trunk that will fit Tylo's ginormous stroller and then some. He wants speed and power. I want to make sure the back seat accomodates two car seats for when Baby #2 comes.

Anyhoo, we are thinking a Lexus RX350 because they are pretty nice, not too big, not too small, and are priced at rock bottom prices these days. At first I was totally against it because I have seen their trunks and they are a joke. Think Corolla. But I guess the new ones are bigger and adequate. A GX was a contender but they have this ridiculous door that swings super wide and seems so inconvienent and impractical should I ever be parallel parked, or in a small parking lot. After a test drive of the RX, I was almost sold.

Except the entire time the freakin salesperson treated me like I was a NOBODY, despite us repeating over and over that I would be the driver. In fact, he practically stepped right over me to walk 5 feet to shake the hand of my husband and introduce himself, even though I was right there next to him. That really ticked me off.

HP attributes it to the fact that 90% of the time the man makes the decision about the car. You know what I think? I think they know that women are more rational, thoughtful and practical consumers, and men purchase based on emotion. Plus I've become quite the haggler and I have a million questions about how the car actually works. Because yes, as they say in that one car commercial, I do care about the cup holders!!!

I'm happy to say I don't plan to buy from that guy. He needs to wake up and treat women buyers with more respect. At this point we haven't narrowed out other options, but it sure would be nice to have a Lexus . . .

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It must be really hot in herrrrre . . .

I had a mini-heart attack today when I opened my PG&E bill. I was dreading the December bill because it started to get cold and with baby and all I have been running the heater on 65 degrees in the living room and using a space heater that runs intermittently in the bedroom, with a 24 hr a day warm mist humidifer as well to offset the dryness that results from all that hot air.

I knew it would be higher than my normal $35 per month, but oh my god. It was $330!!! I woke up my hubby to tell him the news. He was in shock too, but quickly went back to sleep.

Now granted, we kept it warm enough so that we could get away with a t-shirt and light pj pants on the bottom. From time to time HP even wandered around comfortably in just his boxers and no pants at all. I mean, after all, we wanted Tylo to be nice and comfy, but I was not prepared for this.

It was 1 in the morning but I had to call PG&E to get to the bottom of this. After waiting on hold for 20 minutes, I asked the kind lady if they offered relief for "first time offenders" who don't realize how much electricity could be used to keep a new baby warm. I think I heard her muffle a laugh and she said "I'm sorry but we ACTUALLY don't have anything like that". (Which translates to "Look Lady, you have to pay your bill just like every one else who is cold".)

Upon looking at the bill some more I realized that part of the outrageous total was my $78 bill from November that I missed payment on. Oops, must have gotten lost in the world of ebills. So the usage was $250 for December. But STILL.

Looks like I'll be back to my burning candles and wearing 10 lbs of clothes method to keep warm. On the other hand, our gas usage was only $3.50 (despite all my wonderful cooking!).

Maybe I'll just boil water all day long to keep our place warm and humidified from the steam . . .

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My little munchkin has teeth!

Tylo woke up from her morning nap today all smiles, as she usually does. (Totally my favorite part of spending the day with her). Amidst the smiles and head turns, I saw these two tiny white things sparkling from her mouth. I knew it was coming soon, and today they just appeared! Could have been a few days already, not sure - she's been in the habit of sticking out her tongue anytime her mouth is open. I had to pry her jaw open to make sure. I wish I could post a picture, but it was tough even to get her dad to see.

I can't say being a SAHM is ever boring. Repetitive, sure. But never "boring". New exciting milestones occur almost every day. She now sits pretty well propped up or on my lap, and even for a good ten seconds alone on the bed or anywhere else soft. She stands well supported too, and I'm almost sure she understands my sign language for milk (alright, I might be reaching on that one). Today someone said she's as big as his two year old neice. Really, the girl is huge. I am officially giving up the Baby Bjorn after one last stroll with her today. My shoulders are still paying for it.

Tylo's also eating like a pro. I thought she'd be picky, but she likes veggies too, just like her mom. I thought she was ready for finger foods so I went out and bought a storm, but turns out I have to wait til ten months. Darn.

I have to admit, I bought into all the organic hype. With the exception of a few early mispurchases and her formula, she's on an all-organic diet. Once I get through all the food testing and determine she has no allergies, I plan to even make my own baby food. I don't get why we have to wait a few days to introduce new foods. I mean, seriously, do you know anyone allergic to green beans? Or pears?

Not sure why I care. Maybe because all the parenting magazines make it seem like my child will die at the age of 3 if they ingest pesticides and drink from bottles with BPA (we're free of that in this household too). I am the queen of processed foods, growing up on frozen pizzas and McDonalds, and a little trans-fat never bothered me. I probably go through a pound of Splenda a month. And I turned out fine, right?

Anyway, I love the idea of cooking for my daughter for the first time, after the initial basic one-ingredient purees. I hope she learns to enjoy food as much as her parents do. And maybe, just maybe, she inherited some random gene combo that will allow her to eat as much as she wants to but never get fat.

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I recognized the hair . . .

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Driving me nuts. There is nothing that drives me more nuts than tossing and turning in bed, watching the time go by, listening to the random sounds of the night. I love staying up late, watching tv, surfing the net, cleaning the house, reconciling credit card bills, folding laundry, getting things done . . . but tossing and turning in bed listening to HP snore while trying not to wake Tylo, the lightest sleeping baby in the world? Well, nuts I tell you.

So it's 2:30 in the morning and I refuse to go to bed, even though I am too tired to do anything else for the night and there is nothing on tv. Because I don't want to toss and turn. I am running on under 5 hours a night these days. The worst part is that I can snack all night like I used to!

Could it be the dreams? Not really. They are freakishly weird, but I don't mind them that much. I won't even go into the other, weirder dreams I've been having. Let's just say some involve a Patrick Swayze horse and driving a handicap service van.

Anyway, another exciting thing about the holidays being over and the new year: the house hunting is back on, full force. We're going to find a home soon, I can feel it in my bones . . .

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Vanity Kicks In

So it’s 2009! Good grief. I know it’s been said a million times over, but where do the years go? And the hours in the day? I think we don’t remember the past accurately, because I think back and say that I used to have tons of time to vegetate and give myself facials and pedicures, but it probably wasn’t true. All I know is that nowadays, my list of “to dos” keeps getting longer with no end in sight.

The exciting thing is getting started on my diet. My REAL one. My “eat sensibly and healthy and try to fit in some exercise” diet. It worked for me before, down 25 lbs. No cabbage soup. Just obsessive calorie counting to make sure I am within my limit. I fill up on good, healthy, low cal food, and enjoy a small dessert at the end of the day (I skip breakfast so I can have dessert) and I don’t drink my calories. Can’t guzzle half a 2-Liter of regular Pepsi over dinner like I used to. I actually don’t drink much fluids at all these days. Like a cup of coffee in the morning and one drink with dinner. Maybe because I don’t talk much these days other than “good girl” and “did you go poopie?” but I’m rarely thirsty. Plus my home is overly humidified and I have the condensation on my windows to prove it. But I digress. . .

So January is my warm up month. Calorieking.com, which I LOVE because you can find out the calorie count of any food in any portion, tells me I must eat under 1200 calories a day to lose weight. That is more than a bit ridiculous. If you know calories, that is next to nothing. I can’t starve myself because my body won’t allow it. Seriously if I skip a meal I don’t even feel hungry and I just get nauseous. So I am keeping it to 1500 for now, maybe down to 1400 by February.

I haven’t been able to fit in a workout yet (20 minutes of pilates) but I promise I will once I get this big tree packed away.

So yup, vanity kicked in and has taken over. I can proudly say that today I went to Target, spent over a hundred bucks, and didn’t buy a single bag of candy or other junk food item. Now THAT is commitment.

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