Saturday, February 28, 2009

It was like a car commercial . . .

Tylo and I had a great but super long day at the mall (that's what SAHMs do on cold days, we go to the mall - I swear there were so many of us there today). HP met up with us after work, we had a Burger King dinner while she napped in the car, did a little shopping, then went home. I decided to let him drive our new car home with Tylo inside since he never gets to drive it and I took his car (which is actually the car that I bought, but seriously, who keeps track when you're married?).

Anyhoo, as I saw my speedometer go up to 80, as I accelerated and zipped through different lanes, around the slow-ass big rigs, I realized how long it's been since I've driven without Tylo in the car. It felt so good to drive like a normal person. I wasn't staying 1/2 a mile back from the car in front of me, stepping on the brakes as soon as anyone within sight showed brake lights, signaling for 30 seconds before making a move to the next lane. Heck, I even turned the music on, because I wasn't singing "How will I know" (from Disney's Enchanted) at the top of my lungs because these days it's the only thing that will keep my baby from getting cranky.

I miss driving alone, with no traffic. I used to make these long drives from OC to San Francisco when I lived down there with nothing but every Mariah Carey CD I owned and a can of whipped cream to keep me occupied (alright, there were also a lot of cigarettes and enough snacks to fill a concession stand at the movies). The cruise control did most of the work and I was able to let my mind wander because it is the straightest road you'll ever drive. It was pure meditation for me.

Don't take it for granted. Enjoy your car, and your peaceful drives. By the way, when we got home HP reported that Tylo cried the whole way home. She was still crying when he parked. Gee, I'm sorry I missed that.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Doomed to hold hands all night long

Today I was watching an episode of Supernanny (yeah yeah, you'll watch it too when you become a parent, just you wait and see) and I saw myself, in 3 years. This couple coddles their two kids, let them have their way all the time, get no sleep. Bedtime is a nightmare, and their 3 year old doesn't fall asleep unless Dad is there on the floor next to him, holding his hand until he falls asleep. Sometimes it's 10 minutes, sometimes it's a few hours.


Tylo always reaches out for me and squeezes my fingers, strokes my hand or arm while falling sleep. I know she's dead tired, her eyes are shut, but her little hands just want to keep squeezing, squeezing. I am arched over her crib, back is killing me, both hands available for her to do her squeezing. If I'm lucky it's 5 minutes. But sometimes it's 30 minutes. Sometimes I have to cough or my nose is running or my hair is in my face and I move my hands and she wakes up and we start all over again. How did we get to this????

I ask HP and he says his hands never get squeezed.

I can just imagine in a few years I'll be the one laying on the floor at 2 in the morning, holding hands with my daughter until she finally falls sleep.

My little Tylo is queen bee. And I am a complete pushover of a mom.


Thursday, February 19, 2009

Too cute!

Mommy, stop telling me how cute I look and put some clothes on me already. It's cold in here!


Monday, February 16, 2009

There really ought to be a manual for situations like this.

Today, with naked baby in tow, I was on my way from the changing table to the bath tub. Don't ask me why, but the two places are in opposite ends of our condo. I stopped off in the kitchen to stick my chicken in the oven when I start hearing what sounds like rain drops on the kitchen floor. Oh Tylo - you've been spitting up all day. I look at her mouth, and it's dry. Heavier rain drops.

I realize she's peeing. All over me, all over the kitchen floor. I had to wait until she was done, but what do I do after that? I decided to make the rest of the way to the bathroom trying my best not drip more pee all over the place. I dunk her in the bathtub and try to figure out what I'm supposed to do, drenched in pee. I can't go clean myself off and leave her in the bathtub unsupervised. So I take off all my clothes, because every piece is dripping in pee at this point, wipe my skin off as best I can and proceed to bathe my daughter almost completely naked.

At least I wasn't standing on carpet.


If you'd only just pick up your dirty socks . . .

Do you think there are any perfect couples out there? The ones that are truly in love, complement one another in their ways, that don't ever fight?

Not to make anyone vomit or anything, but I think HP and I are pretty darn close. We say it all the time too. We're so lucky because we're so happy and totally in love and don't fight and don't get sick or bored of one another. When we went on our first long vacation with each other, I think we amazed ourselves by enjoying every moment of the 24 hours a day we spent together. It was probably so great because the stress and cleaning at home wasn't there.

Not sure how true that is, because we do fight. It's always over something lame, like cleaning (his lack of it, and my bossiness about insisting that he do it), or me being a bad listener, (apparently I'm the person that 'waits to talk', not listen) but it feels bad nonetheless. With the responsibility that is Tylo, it feels like the fighting is happening more often. We always make up, but it's always the same thing.

I have come to realize that people don't really change. You make up at the end of each fight and apologize, but then the same problems happen again. The issues that were there from the first time you moved in together are still there 5 years later, and will remain there 10 and 20 and 30 years later. Does there come a time where you will no longer care and those things that bother you will stop bothering you?

I certainly hope so. But I bet all long-term couples go through the same gripes. Luckily, you have the other 99.9% of your relationship that is all hunky-dory to think of.


Monday, February 9, 2009

How did we go so wrong?

I think I am quite possibly the worst mother on earth. Alright, I'm exagerating, but not when it comes to getting my baby to go to bed at night. Maybe I'm just too fun of a mom, because Tylo refuses to go to bed at night. She only wants to play play play. She's not hungry, wet, is no longer sick. But refuses to go to bed at night. Even HP is snoring away before Tylo is ready, usually at 12:30 am.

I can't blame it on her bad cold, because it was pretty much like this before. Except she wouldn't be such a cry baby about it. She would be content playing by herself in the crib until she exhausts herself. Now she starts wailing if I even dim the lights and go near the bedroom area. And she must play with me or HP.

We tried to let her cry it out, but decided over and over again that we're wimpy parents and cannot subject our daughter to such misery. I definitely have no excuse. I don't work, so why shouldn't I conform to her schedule, rather than the other way around? Still, I wish it was like the old days when she would sleep at 6 pm, wake up once at 9 am to eat, then go right back to bed.

At this point, Tylo's sleep schedule is like this:
12:30 am - 7:30 am (or so), night sleep with 3-5 awakenings but is quickly soothed
9:00 am - 10:00 am 1 hr nap
1:00 pm 1 hr nap
4:00 pm 1 hr nap
8:00 pm 1 hr nap

I'm not sure if 11 hrs is enough for a little girl but all would be so great if she only went to bed at 10 pm. Then I could actually have time to shower, get ready for bed, etc. without staying up until 3 in the morning. Sigh.

On another note, I just realized that I spend most of my day walking around with my eyebrows lowered into a frown and it's giving me a major forehead wrinkle. I'd better learn to relax them more. I bet most people do that too, without even realizing it. We'd better do all we can to stop those pre-mature wrinkles!


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Do SAHMs get sick days?

I really should be in bed, but my excuse is that I'm waiting for the NyQuil to kick in. Thank goodness Tylo is finally getting better. Tonight she was all smiles, there was no snot running down her nose (well, a little), there was only a little mucus rattle when she breathes and she drank a full bottle without a breathing treatment. I am hoping she will wake up tomorrow all better, and have a great doctor's follow-up visit. No more breathing machine necessary, because she starts screaming as soon as I switch it on.

Meanwhile, I've taken a turn for the worst. My head feels like someone opened it up and poured lead in it, my eyes are all puffy and won't stop tearing, and I can't even cough as loud as I want to because I'm afraid of waking Tylo. I'm reminded of being sick and stifling a cough in a quiet lecture hall during college. You go all bug eyed from holding it in, right? Sucks. I can't taste a thing. And HP actually said dinner was good tonight (Chicken & Biscuits). Next time, I'm definitely going to keep Tylo's slimey germs off me.

"No honey, I know you're sick and miserable, but please don't touch mommy's face with your spit dripping hands."

I'd like to call in sick please. Let the rest of the home team fill in for me while I go crawl into bed and spend endless hours channel surfing. That would mean kitty would take the heat I guess. Better not get HP sick, or we'd really be screwed.


Sunday, February 1, 2009

The Rain before the Rainbow

The mild cold has turned into a full blown terrible bad bad cold. And I think I'm starting to come down with it, because of course Tylo doesn't know how to not cough and give big wet sneezes right in my face and that it's rude to take her wet slobbery hands and play with my lips.

Last night was the worst of it. Tylo cried so hard and so long that HP and I were THIS close to taking her to the ER at 1 in the morning. There was just no logical reason to why she wouldn't stop wailing. God, I'd be one of those moms that calls the doctor in the middle of the night because her baby is crying. Her little body just kept shaking and shaking. I thought HP and I were both going to have a meltdown. Luckily, I remembered how much she loves reading and after 7 different versions of "Jingle Bell Christmas", she stopped crying and we were able to get her to bed.

Poor baby is so unhappy. She barely cracks a smile and is constantly whining and rubbing her raw red nose. She is barely eating and nap time is a big fight. I really hope she gets better but every day it seems she's getting worse.

I miss her happy smile so much, so I thought I'd post some pics from better days.

Sitting on her own now.

Finally got a pic of her little teeth.

And my favorite, cookie time (it is worth the mess!).